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Here are answers
to commonly asked questions (and a few not quite so commonly
asked). Click on the question to go to the answer, or simply
browse through the answers by scrolling down the page:
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What
are your credentials?
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Where
are you located?
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Are
you on a bus route?
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How
much does counseling cost?
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Does
the fee increase with the number of people coming to the appointment
– say, a couple, a family or even a group of business associates?
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Do
you offer a free “get acquainted” interview?
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Do
you take insurance?
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Do
you accept major credit cards?
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Do
you have any suggestions for choosing a counselor?
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Do
you work mainly with individuals, or with couples and families?
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What
is your counseling methodology?
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Do
you do counseling for: Eating disorders? Sexual problems?
Parent/child issues? …My area of concern?
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I
am a woman who is uncomfortable around men; would it be better for
me to see a female counselor?
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Since
you are a man, aren’t you biased toward the male point of view?
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OK,
I am a man who has just read your comments to women about their being heard and empowered. Will you be open to my
concerns as well?
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I
have never been to counseling before and am a bit apprehensive; can
you reassure me?
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What
should I expect on my first appointment?
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If
my husband/wife is not ready to agree to counseling but I feel we
need it, should I come alone?
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My
spouse and I have agreed to seek counseling. Should we come
together as a couple, or do you want to see us individually?
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My
concerns have to do with work. Do you deal with problems in
the workplace?
What
are your credentials?
I am a Licensed
Mental Health Counselor with a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology as
well as a specialty in marriage and family therapy.
I also have a Masters degree in theological studies with an
emphasis in counseling. My experience covers many counseling related
areas and settings. Visit
my biographical page for more complete
information.
Where
are you located?
My office is
close to the northeast shore of Lake Washington, on the Eastside, just
north of Kirkland. See driving directions
and maps.
Are
you on a bus route?
Not exactly.
There is a bus stop about half a mile away by paved road, or, for
the adventurous, about two blocks away by trail through a steep,
sometimes muddy ravine (not for the faint of heart).
If you are used to biking and busing, the connections get a
little easier. Still, the
easiest way would be to drive or perhaps to ask a friend to drive.
How
much does counseling cost?
The fee per
session is about the same as dinner for two at a nice restaurant (but with longer
lasting benefits): $140, discounted to $125 if paid the same day.
If the fee as stated would cause financial hardship, please feel
free to ask about special
arrangements. For
complete financial policy information, click
here.
Does
the fee increase with the number of people coming to the appointment
– say, a couple, a family or even a group of business associates?
Since the fee is
by the hour, it is the same for an individual, a couple, a family,
friends, or business associates – as long as they come jointly to the
appointment.
Do
you offer a free “get acquainted” interview?
No, I like to
get “down to business” from the start and do charge my regular fee
for the first appointment. However, there is no charge for an initial phone call and/or email
exchange, and I am happy to personally discuss your questions with you
and get acquainted in this way. My
phone number is: 425-821-3944.
Do
you take insurance?
Many PPO and
commercial plans pay benefits (e.g., most Blue Shield and Blue Cross PPO
plans); others do not. I do not accept managed care policies. For more information on insurance, click
here.
Do
you accept major credit cards?
Credit card
payments are welcomed on my website, using the secure “Paypal”
service. If made the same
day as an appointment, this form of payment qualifies for the 10%
discount (see Financial Policy page
for details).
Do
you have any suggestions for choosing a counselor?
You will want
someone who has ample training and experience, who will respect your
beliefs and values, and with whom you can develop a relationship of
trust. Ideally, it is good
to have a recommendation from someone who knows you, and also has
firsthand knowledge of the counselor. If you pick a professional who is licensed, you know that
individual has met significant educational and experience requirements
set by the state. (That in
itself does not insure the practitioner is a good counselor, however,
and there are some good counselors who are not licensed.)
In your first meeting or telephone interview with a prospective
counselor, you may wish to explain some of the values and beliefs that
are important to you, and ask how he or she will handle those areas.
Listen carefully to the answer.
If you are involved in a church, for example, one counselor might
see that involvement as the source of your guilt feelings, while another
might see that same church involvement as a potential source of freedom
from guilt. During your
first meeting or two with a counselor, after explaining your reason for
coming, ask how he or she will assist you with your issues.
If you like what you hear and feel that a relationship of mutual
trust and respect is developing, it may be a good “fit.”
If not, do not hesitate to move on.
Do
you work mainly with individuals, or with couples and families?
Actually, both.
I have worked extensively one-on-one with individuals, but have
focused equally on marriage and family relationships.
My training has been in both areas.
I have taught classes and seminars in both areas.
Not only do I like the balance of focusing on both individual and
relationship needs, but also I believe that in the real world, one kind
of issue often blends into the other.
What
is your counseling methodology?
Good question!
There can be widely different philosophies and methodologies
among those identifying themselves as counselors or therapists.
I draw from my graduate training in clinical psychology and
family (systems) therapy, my 20+ years of experience in what works with
various kinds of issues and personalities, and my Christian worldview. For more specific information on my counseling approach, click
here.
Do
you do counseling for: Eating disorders? Sexual problems? Parent/child issues?
…My
area of concern?
Yes to the first
three. For a reasonably
complete list of the issues that I work with, visit my specialties
page. You may also email
me or call (425-821-3944) to ask about a specific area.
I
am a woman who is uncomfortable around men; would it be better for me to
see a female counselor?
Maybe, but
consider the possibility that a positive, therapeutic relationship with
a male counselor might itself be a part of the healing process.
Women who are uncomfortable with men have often had a stressful
relationship with a male (perhaps a father, brother or boyfriend) in the
past. Having a male counselor understand and assist in the recovery
process can be of significant help in working through those issues.
I have counseled with many women who started out with misgivings
about talking to a man, and in almost every case that initial
apprehension was quickly overcome.
Since
you are a man, aren’t you biased toward the male point of view?
Over the years,
I have actually counseled with more women than men. (This may be because
women tend to be more verbal, self-disclosing, and willing to seek help
- the stereotypical male won’t even stop the car to ask for
directions!) A significant part of my counseling has been specifically
directed toward the needs of women: for example, working with postpartum depression, infertility issues, and career vs. domestic
dilemmas. I have also led groups specifically for women, dealing
with such areas as codependency issues and overcoming a history of
sexual abuse. If anything, I see
myself as being a bit biased toward a woman’s need to be heard,
validated and empowered. However,
when working with couples, I try to ensure that both partners feel they
are heard and understood, especially if there has been an imbalance of
power in either direction.
OK,
I am a man who has just read your comments to women about their being heard and empowered. Will
you be open to my concerns as well?
Please be
reassured! I believe that
in today’s western culture, men have been particularly misunderstood
and disenfranchised. The
pressures and expectations facing a man in today’s world can be
enormous. Many men that I
counsel are dealing with stress, anger and frustration about feeling
they are in a “no win” situation.
It has been my privilege to help a large percentage of these men
respond to those pressures more successfully.
Regarding relationships between the sexes: as with any two
individuals, the goal is to find ways to work together in meeting the
needs of both. Ideally,
both sides can “win,” but neither at the other’s expense.
I
have never been to counseling before and am a bit apprehensive; can you
reassure me?
First of all,
remember that this is your time; I am here to serve you.
You don’t need to please me, impress me, apologize for yourself
or even be pleasant. Secondly,
it is my job to meet you where you are.
Maybe you have an agenda, or maybe you have no idea where to
start. Either is OK.
If you are depressed, anxious, angry, confused, uncomfortable or
feel unable to talk, it is my responsibility to start right there.
You are always in control of what you choose to discuss at any
given time. If I ask you a
question that you are uncomfortable answering, it is always OK for you
to say so and we can move on to a different topic.
Do not worry that you will embarrass, offend or shock me.
Whatever you have to say, I have probably heard something very
much like it before.
Finally,
most people describe me as pretty non-threatening.
In the vast majority of cases, the initial apprehension
disappears during the first few minutes of the first appointment.
If you need more reassurance, I would welcome a call from you to
discuss your concerns directly (425-821-3944).
What
should I expect on my first appointment?
My waiting room
is in a quiet setting overlooking a wooded ravine.
Once there, you will be given some paperwork (ten minutes worth
or so) to read and fill out. I
will then invite you into my office, offer you a comfortable chair, ask
you a few introductory questions about yourself and invite you to ask
questions of me as well (it is always fair game to ask me questions
about myself or about why I am pursuing a particular direction in
counseling with you).
Soon,
I will ask something like, “What led you to make the decision to see a
counselor?” During our
discussion, I will seek an understanding of your present situation,
including some background information.
I will want to know if you are facing an immediate need, such as
a present crisis or imminent decision that needs to be made. I may also ask you a little about your history, such as your
growing-up years or previous relationships.
If we touch on any sensitive areas, we may decide to wait till a
future session before discussing these.
If you come with a spouse, I will try to make sure that you both
have equal opportunity to be heard.
If you come with a friend or business associate, I will probably
tend to avoid giving attention to your individual history and issues,
and focus more on your mutual agenda for coming in together.
While much of the first appointment involves information
gathering and establishing a comfortable working relationship, I always
like to be able to point to some specific progress by the time we are
done. Toward the end of the
session, I will probably suggest some homework, or at least something to
be thinking about before the next appointment. For more information on
my counseling approach, click here.
If
my husband/wife is not ready to agree to counseling but I feel we need
it, should I come alone?
Maybe.
You will need to weigh the possible benefits and risks.
If your spouse is antagonistic to your seeking counseling,
you may engender resentment if you go ahead anyway, and further shut the
door to him or her coming with you.
If your spouse is perfectly content for you to seek counseling,
you run the risk that he or she will let you carry all the
responsibility and will treat you as the one who “needs fixing.”
On the other hand, if your relationship is steadily deteriorating
or your own stress level is reaching the “breaking point,” you may
need to seek outside help for your own peace of mind.
Additionally, you may learn some communication, conflict
resolution or relationship skills that will make a positive difference
in your marriage. Sometimes when one spouse works on his or her own issues for
a while, the other will see a significant improvement and will be more
favorable toward joining in the counseling process.
My
spouse and I have agreed to seek counseling. Should we come together as a couple, or do you want to see us
individually?
It depends
somewhat on your situation. If
you both feel fine about coming together and you can communicate in one
another’s presence about the issues, it would probably be best to come
jointly to the first appointment. On
the other hand, if you have mutually agreed that one of you will seek
out a counselor and “get the ball rolling,” that is fine with me
also. If you feel that the
present situation is too sensitive or your feelings are too volatile for
you to start out talking about it in the same room, then an individual
appointment for each of you might be best to begin. No matter how we start, we can mutually decide as we go along
when individual or joint appointments would lead to the fastest
progress.
My
concerns have to do with work. Do
you deal with problems in the workplace?
Yes, if the
problems have to do with personal habits or traits, or with business
relationships, such as communication, conflict resolution, joint
decision-making and team building. For more information on my approach to business issues, click
here.
John
Bachelor, M.A.
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